On Halloween this year I became a
member of a special group of people. Some of you may have heard of this group
but most people don’t discuss them or what goes on with them. It wasn’t
something I’d planned on doing until I was made aware of the benefits of
joining. This group is not like Toastmasters, you can’t just sign up and pay a
small fee and be a member. While the members come from all walks of life, every
ethnicity, religion, political party and age group only a specific number of people
are allowed to join in a year. I was chosen ahead of a long waiting list of
applicants. The cost to join this group can run as high as $5,000. I am very
honoured to say I got to join for free. Even so, I would recommend anyone that
can qualify should join.
As I mentioned not everyone gets to
join. You have to have a referral from a prestigious professional member of
society. Then you have to go through a screening process to make sure you are a
suitable candidate from among the thousands of applicants. There is no simple
voting in a member and a brief induction oath. This initiation was very
different.
After passing a qualifying exam, I
drank a bucket of slime, went to a special place where some nice young ladies drugged me, then a guy inserted things in me and gave me a tattoo. Finally a young lady asked me to break wind. Furthermore I encourage other people
to do this?
I’m pulling your leg a bit. There
is no club or secret society. The group I joined was the people who have
visited the Forzani MacPhail Colon Cancer Screening Centre for a colonoscopy.
The Forzani MacPhail Colon Cancer Screening Centre is a cooperative effort by
the University of Calgary and Foothills Hospital. Its purpose as its name
suggests is providing cancer screening to people in Southern Alberta. They
process approximately 10,000 people per year. A colonoscopy is the best way of
detecting possible colon cancer early.
There is a waiting list for
colonoscopy in Alberta of about of about 13,000 people. After a referral from my
doctor (the prestigious professional) I went for an initial consultation (the
qualifying part). Because of my family history and some changes in the way I
was “performing” I was placed near the top of the list and given instructions
on preparing for the colonoscopy. In Alberta, if you qualify getting scoped is
free. In places without government health care it can cost over $5,000 without
medical insurance.
The part I described as preparation
involved changing to a low fibre diet with some additional restrictions for a
few days. The day before the exam, I had to drink two liters of something known
as PEG (the bucket of slime). Then I had to drink another two liters on the
morning of the exam. PEG (polyethylene glycol) is a powerful purgative. Within minutes it had begun
the process of cleaning my system rapidly and completely.
I arrived at the Forzani McPhail
Colon Cancer Screening Centre a half hour before my scheduled exam as
requested. I changed into one of those weird hospital gowns then some very nice
technicians confirmed I had completed my prep and administered a sedative and
anesthetic intravenously. After a short wait I was wheeled into the exam room.
Colonoscopy involves inserting a
long thin tubular instrument into the rectum and threading it all the way
through the colon. The colon is about six feet long. We new we had arrived at
the far end when they showed me my appendix, and the opening to the small
intestine. I never thought I’d get to wave hello to my own appendix. The colon
is inflated with air and examined via a video scope. I was able to watch the
whole thing on a large screen TV. During my exam, the doctor found a two centimeter polyp and
removed it. This was sent for a biopsy and we are awaiting results. The site
was injected with a blue die to facilitate checking it at a later date. So now
I have a secret tattoo.
After the exam I was taken to the
recovery area and told by one of the nice young ladies that I would not be
released until I released some of the air. She even obliged by pulling my
finger. I was released after about another half-hour. The next day I felt like
I had a tequila and bad chili hangover, without the fiesta. But it was worth
the very slight discomfort.
I did this because I am 52 and my
father passed away as the result of a massive undetected colon cancer that
spread to his liver and his lungs. Apparently he must have been ill without
knowing it (or put up with a variety of symptoms) for a long time before he
said anything to anyone. In the years since my dad died I’ve learned a bit
about colon cancer and its treatment.
First of all, about 15 to 20% of
people will develop colon polyps at some point in their life. About 6% of those
people will have the polyps turn into cancer. 40% of those people die like my
dad because of their undetected cancer. Polyps and colon cancer do not usually
present symptoms until advanced stages. So the only way to find them early is
to look for them.
Lets look at it this way:
Calgary has about 1,000,000 people.
15% of them will get polyps
=150,000.
6% of those people will get cancer
= 9000.
40% would die of undetected cancer
= 3600
That is the bad news. The good news
is that colon cancer is easily cured if it is detected early. Usually all that
is required is removing the polyp the way mine was. A colonoscopy will detect
95% of polyps. So early detection could drop the number of colon cancer
fatalities to 180 out of 1,000,000.
Many people do not talk to their
doctor about this sort of thing because they are embarrassed by it. The really
sad thing is my dad might be alive today if he had suffered a little
embarrassment. Don’t be shy. Talk to your doctor. Get scoped. Join the club
